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RELATIONSHIP: Use Right Speech – Pst Maxwell Nnawuihe – Tracking Times
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RELATIONSHIP: Use Right Speech – Pst Maxwell Nnawuihe

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Use right speech because it creates a conducive atmosphere in relationship. It translates, explains, gives shape to ideas. Wrong use of speech can kill relationship as fast as any other relationship threats.

When you use right speech it becomes difficult for crises or misunderstanding in your relationship to escalate.

“Chew words before you say them” – African proverbs from Igbo. By implication, use right speech.

Another one says “bite your tongue before you speak”- African proverbs from Igbo. That is to say speak with caution.

Tons of relationships broke beyond repair because of wrong speech (s). Miss-use of words and inability to use right speech in relationships are as common as anything these days.

Partners in relationship hardly weigh the weight of their words/speech on the scale of good conscience and mutual respect before they throw it at the other party. The gravity of such inconsiderate and wrongful use of speech has crumbled their relationship with calamitous collapse.

Broken Relationship

Use of right speech seems an outdated practice when two partners becomes too familiar in their relationship. We can attest to the fact that when a couple is too close with each other they always forget mutual respect and courtesy.

It seems familiarity kills that courtesy and respect they once shared when they were starting their relationship newly. They may now say anything without any consideration it would hurt the other party; in as much as his/her point is made that’s fine and OK.

On top of that, some of them could say “even if you hit your head on the wall I careless”…”if you like cry out blood from your eyes it won’t move a hair on my body”. What a brutal and weighty use of speech!

What Wrong Use of Speech Can Cause In Your Relationship

READ ALSO: OFFENSE IS INEVITABLE IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP – Pst. Maxwell Nnawuihe

“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it! (Proverbs 15:23 KJV).

When you use right speech in answering questions it brings joy into your heart. You know that feeling; “oh I said the right thing?” 

A word spoken in due season points to timely use of right speech. How good is it! Awesome and precious!

Use of right speech puts off flames of anger, acrimony, vengeful tendencies,  misunderstanding etc. in relationship. 

It lights and fans the flame of love, trust, peace etc. in relationship. 

Did you know the use of right speech is also a demonstration of humility in relationship? We humble ourselves before our boss/superiors in office/lecturer etc. in demonstration of humility, even when they use wrong speeches at use. Why can’t we do same in our relationships? 

No matter the provocation try as much as you can to use right speech as a demonstration of humility to your partner.

Use right speech because it goes a long way to bear you witness should the other party allow the third party to come into the matter in your relationship.

I read in a story how a friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, “Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.” On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, “Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.” She answered,” You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.”

READ ALSO: A WORTHY FRIEND

Repeated use of wrong speech plants wild seed for a terrible relationship. It opens new wounds and keeps old ones fresh in relationship!

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” Proverbs 25:11 (KJV)

In the days of Solomon fruit-baskets were exquisitely beautiful. The contrast of the golden yellow fruit in the beautifully designed silver basket, has a fine and pleasing effect upon the eye.

So use of right speech is as much in its place, as the golden apples in the silver baskets.

USE RIGHT SPEECH in your relationship today and always.

Then suiting sight and beauty will be the outcome.



READ ALSO: RELATIONSHIP: You Can Be Happy Whether Or Not In Relationship

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3 Comments

3 Comments

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Business

Managing, Leading, Building Institutions And Sustainability

The two primary tasks of a top-level leader are to exploit and explore the organisation with people for now and in the future.

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Babs Olugbemi

By Babs Olugbemi

One of my concerns for leaders is their capacity to be ambidextrous. Regardless of years of experience, knowledge, and leadership capacity, the lack of a clear distinction between managing and leading on the one hand, leading and building institutions on the second layer, and ultimately focussing on sustainability is a significant threat to successful leadership change.

I have followed events and people at C-suites, coached some, and developed frameworks for leadership development. Based on the personalities and styles of the new leaders, I have confirmed my fears about leadership sustainability in most African organisations.

“Successful leaders can aptly differentiate themselves and their roles without necessarily seeing activities as performance, focussing on what is required of them with appropriate tenacity and influence.”

The challenge for leaders is how to lead for the present and future without losing sight of the stakeholders’ immediate performance expectations. Successful leaders can aptly differentiate themselves and their roles without necessarily seeing activities as performance, focussing on what is required of them with appropriate tenacity and influence.

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In my walk as a leadership coach, I have keenly observed leaders who are managing rather than leading. Managing involves ensuring that processes achieve their intended outcomes. Leaders are above managing and should focus on creating an enabling environment for innovation, inventions, and team collaboration. The primary role in leading is not to monitor process outcomes, though critical to the company’s overall objectives, but to align corporate values with the people’s aspirations to create an engaged and ownership-thinking mindset ready to take on challenges and explore opportunities. An alignment of corporate and personal goals will not only deliver the present performance expectations. Still, it will also incubate innovations to adapt to future market demands and the sustainability of the business.

Unfortunately, the capacity for ambidexterity is rare and often marked by leaders’ exposure, approach and styles, perception, and perspective of their roles in the organisation. A leader with a wrong foundation in these areas is set for failure and awaits unfavourable decisions from the board of directors. A top-level leader might manage their teams instead of leading them. Not all leaders can combine leading for the present with building institutions. However, anyone able to submit themselves to an institution-building mechanism can champion sustainability. Aside from being a leadership coach, I help leaders achieve sustainability.

Mathematically, creating an ambidextrous organisation is beyond leading. It is to lead and build an institution that focuses on sustainability in all aspects of the organisation—employee fulfilment, customer retention, strategy effectiveness, performance evaluation, stakeholder management, process improvement, and goal congruence.

In a nutshell, the role of successful leaders in ambidextrous organisations is striking a balance between exploiting current assets and capabilities to ensure short-term success and allocating enough energy and resources to exploration to ensure future viability. The two primary tasks of a top-level leader are to exploit and explore the organisation with people for now and in the future. The two seemingly contradictory aspects—exploitation and exploration—encompass different strategies and processes and have different targets and outcomes (March 1991; O’Reilly & Tushman, 2004; O’Reilly & Tushman, 2013).

O’Reilly and Tushman described the two concepts as follows:

  • Exploiting: Exploiting involves building on an organisation’s achievements and maximising returns on previous investments. It focuses on responding to current business demands to remain efficient and competitive within an established market niche, as well as on maintaining an existing customer base and stakeholder relationships. Examples of exploiting are activities focused on continuous improvement, benchmarking, and redesigning business processes.
  • Exploring: Exploring focuses on expanding an organisation’s knowledge and capabilities, pioneering new products and services, and discovering and venturing into untapped markets.

The common area of practical bottlenecks in exploiting and exploring in organisations is a need for foundational trust and cohesion among the resources, especially the human capital, which are often treated as costs rather than assets to the organisations. Among all the factors of production, only humans can be ambidextrous with the capacity to think about changes in economic parameters and adjust their behaviours to match the time, content, and contextual requirements.

While organisations might have the resources to deploy in fighting competition, technology to obtain first-mover advantages, and production capacity to maximise output from input, none is compared with the potential of an engaged workforce.

Therefore, for leaders to be successful, they must refrain from operating in the realm of managing. They should operate in the capacity of institution builders, with the mindset of creating sustainable leadership and growth with people first and other factors of production second.

Consequently, only the leaders who prioritise their people over profits, pride, and organisational arrogance will be successful in the long term.

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Business

BUSINESS: 3 Non-Financial Factors That Could Impact Your Business’ Value-JESSICA FIALKOVICH

we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities.

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Jessica Fialkovich, an entrepreneur leadership network contributor, has listed three important non-financial factors that could impact business value.

In a business publication on Entrepreneur, Fialkovich revealed that, to come up with the true value of a company or business, “we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities.”

She explained that, “Determining a business’ value is not all about adding up revenue and subtracting expenses. While an important piece, these hard numbers are only half the equation for computing what a company is worth. To come up with the true value, we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities. When we use the complete equation, we get a comprehensive picture of a business and can better understand the story of its past, present and future.”

“Calculations may vary depending on the company, but in a healthy one, there is about a 50/50 split between the quantitative (financial) and qualitative (non-financial) sides of performance. If the business isn’t profitable, it’s more important to focus on the quantitative side and fix the numbers first. Many owners don’t want to hear that, but if they’re not hitting their numbers, it may mean the business is not working. They must fix the quantitative issues before moving to the qualitative side” she added.

The first factor is what is called:

The owner’s Goal

We’ve found significant research showing that if an owner has defined goals and plans for the future that are in line with market expectations for their company’s value, they’re going to have a much stronger exit. What is the owner’s defined goal for exiting the business — to get the most money, to take care of their employees and to ensure a legacy? You must then get to the “why” behind the goals and devise a plan of action. It almost doesn’t matter what the answers to the questions are; having achievable goals and a strategy for reaching them can increase the company’s value because it keeps the owner focused on improving the other areas of the business.

The second factor is called:

The owner’s role

The extent of the owner’s involvement is a critical indicator, but perhaps not for the reason you think. The more involved the owner is in day-to-day operations, the more central they are to the business, the less the business will be worth down the road. If the owner is the linchpin that holds everything together, what will happen to the company when they leave? Evaluating operations is more about the system and the structure of the team. Look at the organizational chart and who’s on it – are they good employees or bad employees? Examine the company’s processes and procedures and how new team members are trained and onboarded. The owner sets the vision, but it’s the team that increases company value by carrying out the vision.

The third factor is called:

Growth opportunities

Nobody wants to buy a business and keep it exactly as it is. They want to see potential for growth in the future, especially the potential for return on their investment as a buyer. Whether it’s a simple price increase or new locations, whoever buys the business is going to ask about growth opportunities. Indicators like product or service diversification in both the company and the industry it’s in give a good sense of whether the company is moving forward or standing still (and at risk of going backward). The more potential you can show, the more upside there will be for the next owner — adding up to greater value.

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Health

I have attempted suicide before – Betty Irabor

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Popular Nigerian columnist, philanthropist, writer, publisher and founder of Genevieve magazine, Betty Irabor has taken to social media to speak on the increasing rate of suicide in Nigeria.

Irabor who is a former columnist with Black & Beauty magazine UK in her post disclosed that she has attempted suicide in the past while also revealing that no one should be judged for taking such actions.

According to her, no one understands what the victims had been passing through, then they shouldn’t make assumptions on how they should have acted.

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She wrote,

“suicide!!! don’t label or judge what you do not understand. if you haven’t walked in a man’s or woman’s shoes you cannot make assumptions about what they do or why they do it.

at the time i attempted suicide, i was sick and in pain. there was a volcano somewhere inside of me that needed to erupt and suicide seemed like an option to avoid the eruption. don’t trivialize anyone’s pain just because it’s not physical and you cannot see it.”

Irabor is also the founder of a foundation that promotes breast cancer awareness, early detection and treatment.

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