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4 Steps To Take When Someone Is Spreading Negativity About You

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Image Courtesy – Ben White


Have you ever been in a situation where someone is spreading negativity about you in an effort to harm your reputation?

I have, and so has Jordan Harbinger, host of The Jordan Harbinger Show, a top-rated podcast with millions of downloads in its first weeks of launching. Prior to starting this show, Jordan was co-founder of The Art of Charm, another hugely success podcast. After years of building, things took a turn, and with it, a former partner set out to take him down.

Similarly, years ago when I started Network Under 40, a close friend offered to help me get it off the ground. After a stint where she took time off for personal reasons, I shared with her my decision to continue to operate the company without her. As a result, I was alerted by others in my local business community that she was going on a smear campaign about me.

I felt hurt, particularly because I’d created space in our various conversations for her to air her grievances with me, and was told there were none. Also, I was worried that those to whom she spread these negative words would believe her, thus sullying my reputation, which I take seriously.

No matter how many people are on the receiving end of the slander about you, it can be painful, and leave you feeling frustrated with your inability to correct it.

Because of this, Harbinger and I teamed up to offer some advice on how to handle and process these situations:

Negativity makes them look bad, not you.

“Negative people are just that: negative. When someone’s mission seems to be taking you down a peg, it can be infuriating,” shares Harbinger.

“ However, it’s important to remember that most of the time, negativity is associated with the one spreading it, not just with the subject of the rumors. So, if you’re out there doing you, and they’re out there mostly focused on you and how you’re a terrible such-and-such, then over time, it actually makes them look bad, not you.”

Take the long view

Will this matter in a week? A month? Or a year? Probably not. Let that assuage you.

Harbinger shares, “Zoom out far enough on the timeline, and most of those people fade away because their identity is weighed down consistently by their futile mission to bring you to ruin.”

Your network can shift the tone

Harbinger was recently alerted by a friend that someone was speaking ill of him at a party she had. Instantly, she and others who knew him chimed in to say, “That surprises me as it’s so far from the person I know Jordan to be.” In doing so, they immediately shifted the tone of the conversation to protect his reputation.

Haringer says, “It’s network versus network. If someone is spreading negative opinions about you, those can be counteracted by others who already know you. This highlights the importance of digging the well before you’re thirsty, and making sure you’ve got your relationships in place before you need them. Otherwise, you’re chasing a negative first impression. This is a losing battle because you might not ever get a chance to remedy the negative rumors yourself.”

He continues, “You need both deep and ‘shallow’ relationships. You don’t have to have lived with someone for years to have them stick up for you and your reputation. Having a handful of people who have even a neutral or positive impression of you can be enough to plant the seeds of doubt in someone’s mind that negative rumors are true.”

Your best defense is to live out your values

I came to recognize fairly quickly that I had banked a lot of positive rapport and goodwill before the slander began, as well as that I could continue to embody what I valued so that my actions would speak for me, without having to ‘defend’ myself.

“Living the right way and practicing what we preach is the best way to ensure that the negativity dies on the vine. If you’re consistently helping people get what they want, making useful introductions and being open and positive, then it will be hard for others to believe negative rumors about you when they meet you,” explains Harbinger.

“When combined with the above ‘rules’, smack-talkers hardly stand a chance!”

Forbes

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4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Joy

    April 16, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    This article is really inspiring, thanks for the information

  2. Joy

    April 16, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    This article is really inspiring, thanks for the information

    • maxwell

      April 27, 2018 at 3:15 pm

      You’re welcome. I’m glad that you’re inspired @Joy
      Thanks.

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2024 Women’s U20 World Cup: Nigeria drawn with Germany, Korea Republic, Venezuela

Cup holders Spain are in Group C alongside three-time winners USA, Paraguay and another African representative team, Morocco.

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2022 FIFA U20 Women’s World Cup quarter-finalists Nigeria have been drawn to play three-time winners Germany, Venezuela and Korea Republic in Group D of this year’s FIFA U20 Women’s World Cup finals.

The final competition, which will welcome 24 teams for the first time, will be staged in four venues in three cities in Colombia, 31st August – 22nd September.

Cup holders Spain are in Group C alongside three-time winners USA, Paraguay and another African representative team, Morocco.

Two-time winners Korea Democratic People’s Republic will contend with Argentina, Costa Rica and the Netherlands in Group F, while hosts Colombia are up against Australia, Cameroon and Mexico in Group A.

Full draw

GROUP A: Colombia, Australia, Cameroon, Mexico

GROUP B: France, Canada, Brazil, Fiji

GROUP C: Spain, USA, Paraguay, Morocco

GROUP D: Germany, Venezuela, Nigeria, Korea Republic

GROUP E: Japan, New Zealand, Ghana, Austria

GROUP F: Korea DPR, Argentina, Costa Rica, The Netherlands

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KILLER-HERDSMEN: Why I said herdsmen Should carry AK-47 —Bauchi gov

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Bala Mohammed - Bauchi State Governor

Bauchi State Governor, Bala Mohammed,  has explained that saying Fulani herdsmen can carry AK-47 was to show the extent to which they are dehumanised and demonised.

Speaking on Channels TV Sunrise Daily on Friday, Mohammed explained that his use of AK-47 was figurative, refusing to withdraw his statement.

According to him, Nigerians must stop profiling Fulani herdsmen as criminals because of the nature of their job.

The governor said, “What I said in that context is that the Fulani man is so exposed, dehumanised, demonised. Because he is seen as a bandit, anywhere he goes, his commonwealth (cows) are being taken away and rustled.

“If one cow strays into the farm because the cattle route has been taken away illegally without the authority giving permission, he will be fined seriously, mercilessly.

ALSO READ: INSECURITY: Allow Nigerians to Carry Arms If Herders Are Licensed to Carry AK-47 – Fani-Kayode
Herdsmen Should Keep Carrying AK-47—Bauchi Gov., Blasts Ortom, others

“So, he has no option than to protect himself. We also have so many vigilante groups in Nigeria, even at the different levels of government, sub-regional groups, sub-national.‌

“When we mention carrying AK-47, it is in other to protect himself. It is a figure of speech to show you the despondence, the desperation and frustration, and the agony that this particular person is exposed to by his own people, by his own tribe, and by other tribes who have all seen him as a criminal and therefore, he has the inalienable right to protect himself.

It may not be an illegal carriage, it may be legal. He may also register and carry it to protect himself.”

While explaining the need for security and self-protection, the governor clarified that he does not intend to legalise the carriage of AK-47 with his comment.

“They have no option but to protect themselves. The issue is self-protection. There must be some sort of approval. What I am saying is not to legalise the carriage of AK-47. I must be understood,” he added. Punch

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Breaking: Buhari sacks Service Chiefs, appoints replacements

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General Abayomi Olonisakin; Chief of Army Staff, Lt-Gen. Tukur Buratai; Chief of Naval Staff, Vice Admiral Ibok Ekwe Ibas; and Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar.

After thousands of lives have been tragically lost in Nigeria given to the gross incompetence of Buhari’s favorite Service Chiefs, the President has accepted the immediate resignation of the Service Chiefs, and their retirement from service.

This was contained in a statement issued by the Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity, Chief Femi Adesina in Abuja Tuesday.

According to the statement: “Those involved are the Chief of Defence Staff, General Abayomi Olonisakin; Chief of Army Staff, Lt-Gen. Tukur Buratai; Chief of Naval Staff, Vice Admiral Ibok Ekwe Ibas; and Chief of Air Staff, Air Marshal Sadique Abubakar.

“President Buhari thanks the outgoing Service Chiefs for what he calls their “overwhelming achievements in our efforts at bringing enduring peace to our dear country,” wishing them well in their future endeavours.

ALSO READ: Killings, Mass Exodus of Soldiers, Sack Service Chief Now – Senate to Buhari

“The new Service Chiefs are Major-General Leo Irabor, Chief of Defence Staff; Major-General I. Attahiru, Chief of Army Staff; Rear Admiral A. Z. Gambo, Chief of Naval Staff; and Air-Vice Marshal I.O Amao, Chief of Air Staff.

“The President congratulates the new Service Chiefs, and urges them to be loyal and dedicated in the discharge of their responsibilities.”

The outgoing Service Chiefs have presided over a chronicle of unprecedented destruction of lives and properties in Nigeria under the Buhari-APC-led administration.

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#ENDSARS: Prisoners Escape Warri prison Amidst Shooting, fire outbreak

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#EndSARS Updates: Prisoners escapes Warrior Prison 22/10/2020

Many prisoners have escaped the Nigerian prison popularly referred to as Okere Prison in Warri South council area of Delta State, amidst heavy shooting by security operatives.

Flames and thick smoke are also emanating from the premises, fuelling fear among residents, most of whom have locked shops and scampered for safety.

The Nation online had reported a scare across the Warri metropolis following rampaging youths reportedly bearing cutlasses and tyres.

The cause of the fire is not clear, but confirmed reports claim that the thick smoke coming out of the premises of the correctional centre is as a result of the burning of tyres.

ALSO READ: BREAKING: ‘Buhari was Dead, Replaced by Another Man, We’re Coming For You’ – Anonymous

#ENDSARS PROTESTS: Kpirikpiri Police Station, Police Check Point In Abakaliki Set On Fire

It was learnt that the shootings were to scare hoodlums planning the jail break, away.

Residents of Okere Road where the prison is located are panicking over the possible replication of the incidents in Edo, Lagos and other states.
A distorted video seen by this reporter showed youths throwing stones towards the prison entrance.

Sporadic shootings followed afterwards, forcing the hoodlums to retreat, even as a voice is heard saying “oya, na house o”.

Another video clip shows at least seven persons come out of the prison to heavy cheering of the cutlass-wielding youths.

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COVID-19: Nigeria’s cases exceed 40,000 with 858 deaths

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Trackingtimes COVID-19 Updates

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control (NCDC) has announced 555 new COVID-19 cases in the country as total infections from the virus exceeded 40,000 in five months.

The NCDC, which made this known on its official twitter handle, also recorded two deaths in the country in the last 24 hours.

NCDC said 40,537 cases had been confirmed, 17,374 cases discharged and 858 deaths recorded in 36 states and the Federal Capital Territory till date.

As at Monday 5:37 pm 27 Jul 2020
Samples Tested

266,323

Confirmed Cases

40,532

Active Cases

22,300

Discharged Cases

17,374

Death

858

NCDC  said that the new cases were reported in the 18 states of Lagos (156), Kano (65), Ogun (57), Plateau (54), Oyo(53), Benue (43), FCT (30), Ondo(18), Kaduna (16), Akwa Ibom (13), Gombe (13), Rivers (12), Ekiti (9), Osun (8), Cross River (3), Borno (2), Edo (2) and Bayelsa (1).

The health agency said a multi-sectoral national Emergency Operations Centre (EOC) activated at Level 3 would continue to coordinate the national response activities across the country.

It also advised Nigerians to limit or avoid sharing personal items as well as  avoid  touching high-contact surfaces like door handles and stair rails.

According to the agency, the virus that causes COVID-19 can live on surfaces for several hours.

The NCDC further urged Nigerians to clean  all surfaces with soap and water or disinfectants.

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BREAKING: ‘Nigerian Nightmare’ Kamaru Usman suspended for six months

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Kamaru Usman

Kamaru Usman has been handed a massive 180-day medical suspension after breaking his nose against Jorge Masvidal.

The Nigerian Nightmare, 33, suffered a broken nose as he retained his UFC welterweight title last weekend.

He will also be forced to avoid any contact for at least three weeks while the nose heals.

Meanwhile, Masvidal, 35, will miss a month himself due to a forehead laceration sustained in his defeat.

The American veteran took the fight on just six days’ notice but failed to pull off a miraculous win.

Masvidal has now been handed a 30-day medical suspension to allow a nasty gash on his face to heal.

As with Usman, he will be forced to avoid any contact work for three weeks. Vanguard

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