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RELATIONSHIP: Listen But Don’t Do Everything You Hear – Pst Maxwell Nnawuihe – Tracking Times
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RELATIONSHIP: Listen But Don’t Do Everything You Hear – Pst Maxwell Nnawuihe

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Different people have different thing to say to us concerning our relstionship. Listen But don’t do everything you hear.

People speak from their:

  1. KNOWLEDGE
  2. THOUGHTS
  3. FEELINGS 
  4. EXPERIENCES etc.

What we hear is not the problem. But what we do with or about what we hear.

Parents could listen to their children say all manner of things in terms of request, suggestions etc. but they’d only choose and do what is best for them, rather than all they heard.

That shows you’re qualified to be a parent. You listen but don’t do everything you hear.

Why you should listen to what others have got to say is because the opinion of other people matters in relationship, in the sense that it also helps us understand the depth or shallowness of their knowledge and understanding in a particular relationship matter.

Their knowledge, thoughts, feelings or experiences can destroy your relationship  if you do everything  you heard from them. But its important you listen in oder to find out what knowledge, thought, feelings or experiences they’re sharing to you in your relationship.

Listen but don’t do everything you hear. If you don’t listen you miss the opportunity to x-ray and expose, or come to the full understanding of the perceptions of other people towards your relationship.

READ ALSO: RELATIONSHIP: Use Right Speech – Pst Maxwell Nnawuihe

READ ALSO: OFFENSE IS INEVITABLE IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP – Pst. Maxwell Nnawuihe

It’s true there are those who may never say something good or inspiring about your relationship – your partner, his/her education, shape or looks, job, family background, social exposure, financial status etc. Instead of shutting them up before you hear them out just listen but don’t do everything you hear.

If you listen but don’t do everything you hear it stands to prove you have a mind of your own and you can handle matters in your relationship in the best practical peculiar way.

You may be asking, “how can I listen to someone who says demoralising nasty things about my relationship…don’t you know what you hear affects your behaviour and molds you into another person entirely?”

Let me ask you, too, “why have you not allowed other things you’ve heard from others affect your behaviour and mold you into a different person entirely?”

Who ever has become mad simply because he was called a mad man or who ever has become stupid just because she was called a stupid woman?

Have people never suggested horrible, nasty, despicable and crazy things to you before? So why didn’t you do them in your relationship? Because you chose not to do everything you heard. That’s maturity.

People’s advice, perceptions, opinions could change you ONLY when you decide to ACT ON WHAT THEY SAID. Otherwise many bad people would’ve turned good by just LISTENING to good advice from good people.

Listen but don’t do everything you hear, in that way you allow them exhaust what they’ve got to say, then they’d let you be!

They’d say “after all I said…I thought he/she was really listening…I don’t know what else to say anymore…”

READ ALSO: A WORTHY FRIEND

It’s completely impossible to please everybody when it comes to doing everything we heard them say. Everyone is not coming from same direction neither are they going same direction in relationship.


I read in a story about a couple that bought a donkey from the market. But on the way home, a boy commented,

“Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey?”

Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented,

“The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?”

READ ALSO: RELATIONSHIP: You Can Be Happy Whether Or Not In Relationship

Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented,

“How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.”

The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented,

“Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.”

Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

Listen but don’t everything you hear because if you do everything you hear you lose everything you’ve got!

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Business

Managing, Leading, Building Institutions And Sustainability

The two primary tasks of a top-level leader are to exploit and explore the organisation with people for now and in the future.

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Babs Olugbemi

By Babs Olugbemi

One of my concerns for leaders is their capacity to be ambidextrous. Regardless of years of experience, knowledge, and leadership capacity, the lack of a clear distinction between managing and leading on the one hand, leading and building institutions on the second layer, and ultimately focussing on sustainability is a significant threat to successful leadership change.

I have followed events and people at C-suites, coached some, and developed frameworks for leadership development. Based on the personalities and styles of the new leaders, I have confirmed my fears about leadership sustainability in most African organisations.

“Successful leaders can aptly differentiate themselves and their roles without necessarily seeing activities as performance, focussing on what is required of them with appropriate tenacity and influence.”

The challenge for leaders is how to lead for the present and future without losing sight of the stakeholders’ immediate performance expectations. Successful leaders can aptly differentiate themselves and their roles without necessarily seeing activities as performance, focussing on what is required of them with appropriate tenacity and influence.

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In my walk as a leadership coach, I have keenly observed leaders who are managing rather than leading. Managing involves ensuring that processes achieve their intended outcomes. Leaders are above managing and should focus on creating an enabling environment for innovation, inventions, and team collaboration. The primary role in leading is not to monitor process outcomes, though critical to the company’s overall objectives, but to align corporate values with the people’s aspirations to create an engaged and ownership-thinking mindset ready to take on challenges and explore opportunities. An alignment of corporate and personal goals will not only deliver the present performance expectations. Still, it will also incubate innovations to adapt to future market demands and the sustainability of the business.

Unfortunately, the capacity for ambidexterity is rare and often marked by leaders’ exposure, approach and styles, perception, and perspective of their roles in the organisation. A leader with a wrong foundation in these areas is set for failure and awaits unfavourable decisions from the board of directors. A top-level leader might manage their teams instead of leading them. Not all leaders can combine leading for the present with building institutions. However, anyone able to submit themselves to an institution-building mechanism can champion sustainability. Aside from being a leadership coach, I help leaders achieve sustainability.

Mathematically, creating an ambidextrous organisation is beyond leading. It is to lead and build an institution that focuses on sustainability in all aspects of the organisation—employee fulfilment, customer retention, strategy effectiveness, performance evaluation, stakeholder management, process improvement, and goal congruence.

In a nutshell, the role of successful leaders in ambidextrous organisations is striking a balance between exploiting current assets and capabilities to ensure short-term success and allocating enough energy and resources to exploration to ensure future viability. The two primary tasks of a top-level leader are to exploit and explore the organisation with people for now and in the future. The two seemingly contradictory aspects—exploitation and exploration—encompass different strategies and processes and have different targets and outcomes (March 1991; O’Reilly & Tushman, 2004; O’Reilly & Tushman, 2013).

O’Reilly and Tushman described the two concepts as follows:

  • Exploiting: Exploiting involves building on an organisation’s achievements and maximising returns on previous investments. It focuses on responding to current business demands to remain efficient and competitive within an established market niche, as well as on maintaining an existing customer base and stakeholder relationships. Examples of exploiting are activities focused on continuous improvement, benchmarking, and redesigning business processes.
  • Exploring: Exploring focuses on expanding an organisation’s knowledge and capabilities, pioneering new products and services, and discovering and venturing into untapped markets.

The common area of practical bottlenecks in exploiting and exploring in organisations is a need for foundational trust and cohesion among the resources, especially the human capital, which are often treated as costs rather than assets to the organisations. Among all the factors of production, only humans can be ambidextrous with the capacity to think about changes in economic parameters and adjust their behaviours to match the time, content, and contextual requirements.

While organisations might have the resources to deploy in fighting competition, technology to obtain first-mover advantages, and production capacity to maximise output from input, none is compared with the potential of an engaged workforce.

Therefore, for leaders to be successful, they must refrain from operating in the realm of managing. They should operate in the capacity of institution builders, with the mindset of creating sustainable leadership and growth with people first and other factors of production second.

Consequently, only the leaders who prioritise their people over profits, pride, and organisational arrogance will be successful in the long term.

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Business

BUSINESS: 3 Non-Financial Factors That Could Impact Your Business’ Value-JESSICA FIALKOVICH

we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities.

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Jessica Fialkovich, an entrepreneur leadership network contributor, has listed three important non-financial factors that could impact business value.

In a business publication on Entrepreneur, Fialkovich revealed that, to come up with the true value of a company or business, “we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities.”

She explained that, “Determining a business’ value is not all about adding up revenue and subtracting expenses. While an important piece, these hard numbers are only half the equation for computing what a company is worth. To come up with the true value, we also look at factors like the level of owner involvement, company goals and growth opportunities. When we use the complete equation, we get a comprehensive picture of a business and can better understand the story of its past, present and future.”

“Calculations may vary depending on the company, but in a healthy one, there is about a 50/50 split between the quantitative (financial) and qualitative (non-financial) sides of performance. If the business isn’t profitable, it’s more important to focus on the quantitative side and fix the numbers first. Many owners don’t want to hear that, but if they’re not hitting their numbers, it may mean the business is not working. They must fix the quantitative issues before moving to the qualitative side” she added.

The first factor is what is called:

The owner’s Goal

We’ve found significant research showing that if an owner has defined goals and plans for the future that are in line with market expectations for their company’s value, they’re going to have a much stronger exit. What is the owner’s defined goal for exiting the business — to get the most money, to take care of their employees and to ensure a legacy? You must then get to the “why” behind the goals and devise a plan of action. It almost doesn’t matter what the answers to the questions are; having achievable goals and a strategy for reaching them can increase the company’s value because it keeps the owner focused on improving the other areas of the business.

The second factor is called:

The owner’s role

The extent of the owner’s involvement is a critical indicator, but perhaps not for the reason you think. The more involved the owner is in day-to-day operations, the more central they are to the business, the less the business will be worth down the road. If the owner is the linchpin that holds everything together, what will happen to the company when they leave? Evaluating operations is more about the system and the structure of the team. Look at the organizational chart and who’s on it – are they good employees or bad employees? Examine the company’s processes and procedures and how new team members are trained and onboarded. The owner sets the vision, but it’s the team that increases company value by carrying out the vision.

The third factor is called:

Growth opportunities

Nobody wants to buy a business and keep it exactly as it is. They want to see potential for growth in the future, especially the potential for return on their investment as a buyer. Whether it’s a simple price increase or new locations, whoever buys the business is going to ask about growth opportunities. Indicators like product or service diversification in both the company and the industry it’s in give a good sense of whether the company is moving forward or standing still (and at risk of going backward). The more potential you can show, the more upside there will be for the next owner — adding up to greater value.

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Health

I have attempted suicide before – Betty Irabor

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Popular Nigerian columnist, philanthropist, writer, publisher and founder of Genevieve magazine, Betty Irabor has taken to social media to speak on the increasing rate of suicide in Nigeria.

Irabor who is a former columnist with Black & Beauty magazine UK in her post disclosed that she has attempted suicide in the past while also revealing that no one should be judged for taking such actions.

According to her, no one understands what the victims had been passing through, then they shouldn’t make assumptions on how they should have acted.

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She wrote,

“suicide!!! don’t label or judge what you do not understand. if you haven’t walked in a man’s or woman’s shoes you cannot make assumptions about what they do or why they do it.

at the time i attempted suicide, i was sick and in pain. there was a volcano somewhere inside of me that needed to erupt and suicide seemed like an option to avoid the eruption. don’t trivialize anyone’s pain just because it’s not physical and you cannot see it.”

Irabor is also the founder of a foundation that promotes breast cancer awareness, early detection and treatment.

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